For the last couple months Merrie's occupation of choice has been "a teacher, like Mommy". She goes around the room pretending to be at work, teaching her toys about letters, counting and even how to put a puzzle together.
But she is also pretending to be at home, still busy working on her computer and will say, "in a minute, I need to put in grades" or "sorry honey, I can't play right now, I need to work."
I didn't realize how much of work I brought home with me - until now. I wear many hats at work and have lots of responsibility. I also work best under stress - so I rarely say "no" when asked to do something. Even today, I'm writing this knowing I need to finishing putting grades into the online parent gradebook (they are already in my excel file, which took me 3 hours to do this afternoon at work, because I had to get each high school students' scores individually). I also need to update my classroom website which is constantly checked by parents, I need to figure out how I'm going to meet with the students who didn't master the last 3 tests, I need to work on accreditation stuff so I don't get behind on that, I need to watch the lessons for my high schoolers so they can learn content from a physical teacher instead of through the computer, I need to create lessons for the next topic I'm teaching to my middle schoolers...this is normal - this is my every weekend.
When I realized I wanted to be a teacher, way back in 2nd grade, it seemed magical. Like I was going to save the world, one kid at a time. I still feel like that, every day...and maybe that's the problem. Am I so dedicated to my job - it has come at the expense of my family? I should have learned this lesson when Thomas and I separated back in 2010 and when we moved in 2014 so I could "spend more time at home". His main concern was that we never talked and I spent too much time working. My original excuse was that I was a new teacher - but I don't have that excuse anymore...so what is it now?
There has to be a way to consolidate the expectations of my parents, administrators and students and meet all of their demands - while at the same time meeting the needs of my family and not losing them in the process. But it's crazy hard and honestly - what I'm just now realizing - not something I want for my daughter to experience.
Parents have expectations of me - they want updated grades so they can see how their child is progressing, they want an updated website so they can support me at home, they want current behavior reports for their child so they know what to address at home. All of those things are understandable and realistic expectations.
Students have expectations of me - they want updated grades so they know what to work on, they need homework to practice what was learned in class. They need these things and it should be expected.
My administrators have expectations of me - they want updated lesson plans and activities that relate to the standards. They want documentation that I am addressing the students who need help and extra support.
So where do you cut the cord? Do you disappoint parents - so that they share with the world their displeasure at your "incompetence" as seems to be the trend with the multitude of viral posts out there... Do you let down admin - at the expense of losing your job?? I refuse to slack at the students' expense...
It seems, that my family has been the cord I have cut - which should also be unacceptable...
So, today, when Merrie was pretending to be a "teacher", I sat down with her and explained that Mommy has a job that she loves and is helping so many other kids - but that she and Micah are my babies, and they and Daddy come before anyone else. Always.
Which is something I've struggled with and I don't want her to struggle with it. So, being a teacher is a great job and deserves respect, but family is more important and should always come first. At the expense of anything job related...even if it means putting some things on the back burner or finding a job that is strictly 9-5.
She just looked at me with those big blues eyes and said, "Oh, I know Honey, I know you love me and I know you love your kids - this is just pretend." and went back to playing school.
Maybe one day, I'll find a balance, but right now, when she's up - no computer, no grading, no work...just Merrie and Micah and Daddy. God first - Family Second - Work Third. Always. That is what I want her to remember, not the Mommy who was on the computer all the time.
Friday, October 30, 2015
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Rule 39...
I've been waiting for the right time to post this, and I think that time has come.
Last Christmas (2013), Thomas and I were again bombarded with questions as to whether we were returning to Michigan and tons of comments about how we were missed. We'd been telling everyone for a couple months that we would move the summer of 2014 somewhere "East of the Mississippi", although we were positive we'd probably never end up back in Michigan. The realization came that, if we were going to move, I needed to start actually looking for a job, instead of putting it off. The problem was, I really liked where I was at - minus a couple things.
So, we prayed about it and decided to stay unless something extremely obvious happened (I'm one of those people who needs to be hit by a 2x4 in order to really understand something).
Fast forward TWO days. I received a call from a former boss telling me about this school he'd just started working at and that there might be a need for a 2nd 6th grade teacher the following school year (2014-2015). Still a big maybe, but if I was interested, he'd keep me in the loop. All I could think was "Gibs Rule 39 - there is no such thing as a coincidence". But Phoenix was still incredibly far away from the Mississippi. So, we told Nick we may be interested, IF the opening even happened. It did - so then we made a pros/cons list for moving. The cons for moving list looked something like this:
- I had 8 weeks of maternity leave
- I was playing the piano for church
- I like my current administrator and team
- I had good insurance
PROS for Moving:
- This actually happened the year before...I was moved from one position to another with a weeks notice and with no say from my current administrator. If anything left me bitter, it was this. There were several other things that happened around this situation that contributed, but I'm not going into further detail. Let's just leave it at - I knew no position I ever held would be safe, even during a school year.
- One of the things holding me to Douglas was that I played the piano for my church. I'm an amateur, mostly because I never listened to my piano instructor in college who said I would need it one day (sorry Carla). I always thought I'd be conducting a band NOT a choir (ha). Anyways, because of my amateur status, the church decided to ask me to stop playing, so I could be a voice, instead of instrument (I can't sing and play at the same time and we needed singing) in services. No hurt feelings (seriously) but a cut thread none the less.
- Another "pro" we had for staying in Douglas was my current administrator. She had been with me for 4 years and I was getting used to the mild consistency (of all 4 years, only 2 had been with the same pairing of admin). She told us that April she was leaving for a position at the main office...thread cut.
- Our house was 105 years old and was designed like it. We needed to be able to afford a house that was safe for our growing family - and that probably wouldn't be possible in Douglas.
- Micah was coming :) There was no way I could support a family of 4 on my salary, and also no job opportunities (aside from the Call Center, and we all know how that ended) for Thomas. If my salary wasn't going to cut it, than we needed to be somewhere where Thomas could get a job if needed.
All of these things lead up to us deciding to leave. It has been a ride and a trust in God's plan like none other. I miss my kids in Douglas every day and I still wish we lived closer to home. But Facebook is a great way to stay in touch. Gibb's rule 39 is true - but not always easy to accept. This job will allow me to visit family when I need to, and that is important as well.
Reliance on God doesn't always go as we plan, but it is always what's best.
Last Christmas (2013), Thomas and I were again bombarded with questions as to whether we were returning to Michigan and tons of comments about how we were missed. We'd been telling everyone for a couple months that we would move the summer of 2014 somewhere "East of the Mississippi", although we were positive we'd probably never end up back in Michigan. The realization came that, if we were going to move, I needed to start actually looking for a job, instead of putting it off. The problem was, I really liked where I was at - minus a couple things.
So, we prayed about it and decided to stay unless something extremely obvious happened (I'm one of those people who needs to be hit by a 2x4 in order to really understand something).
Fast forward TWO days. I received a call from a former boss telling me about this school he'd just started working at and that there might be a need for a 2nd 6th grade teacher the following school year (2014-2015). Still a big maybe, but if I was interested, he'd keep me in the loop. All I could think was "Gibs Rule 39 - there is no such thing as a coincidence". But Phoenix was still incredibly far away from the Mississippi. So, we told Nick we may be interested, IF the opening even happened. It did - so then we made a pros/cons list for moving. The cons for moving list looked something like this:
- I had 8 weeks of maternity leave
- I was playing the piano for church
- I like my current administrator and team
- I had good insurance
PROS for Moving:
- This actually happened the year before...I was moved from one position to another with a weeks notice and with no say from my current administrator. If anything left me bitter, it was this. There were several other things that happened around this situation that contributed, but I'm not going into further detail. Let's just leave it at - I knew no position I ever held would be safe, even during a school year.
- One of the things holding me to Douglas was that I played the piano for my church. I'm an amateur, mostly because I never listened to my piano instructor in college who said I would need it one day (sorry Carla). I always thought I'd be conducting a band NOT a choir (ha). Anyways, because of my amateur status, the church decided to ask me to stop playing, so I could be a voice, instead of instrument (I can't sing and play at the same time and we needed singing) in services. No hurt feelings (seriously) but a cut thread none the less.
- Another "pro" we had for staying in Douglas was my current administrator. She had been with me for 4 years and I was getting used to the mild consistency (of all 4 years, only 2 had been with the same pairing of admin). She told us that April she was leaving for a position at the main office...thread cut.
- Our house was 105 years old and was designed like it. We needed to be able to afford a house that was safe for our growing family - and that probably wouldn't be possible in Douglas.
- Micah was coming :) There was no way I could support a family of 4 on my salary, and also no job opportunities (aside from the Call Center, and we all know how that ended) for Thomas. If my salary wasn't going to cut it, than we needed to be somewhere where Thomas could get a job if needed.
All of these things lead up to us deciding to leave. It has been a ride and a trust in God's plan like none other. I miss my kids in Douglas every day and I still wish we lived closer to home. But Facebook is a great way to stay in touch. Gibb's rule 39 is true - but not always easy to accept. This job will allow me to visit family when I need to, and that is important as well.
Reliance on God doesn't always go as we plan, but it is always what's best.
Saturday, March 14, 2015
Equal Rights Goes Both Ways
Today, on the way to an appointment, Thomas and I were talking about how equal rights often pertains to women's treatment being unfair, but started listing off all the ways men are discriminated against.
For example: women are more likely than men to get custody, single moms are idolized and single dads are rarely mentioned, how stay at home dads are often considered lazy bums but stay at home moms are superheroes. Then on my feed came an article about the lack of baby changing tables in men's restrooms...and my newest post topic was born.
I'm not sure how to write all of this, so I know it will appear spotty at best. It seems the more I research the more I find that some things aren't as unequal as they may seem - but in different areas. I also struggle with the Bible's very real portrayal of the treatment of women and children as greater than that of men. It is hard to argue with God on this one...but, there are somethings that I feel are common courtesy to men - even when women may be perceived as the favored gender.
I'm all for equal rights, but they need to be equal for everyone. I also know that there are many places that do in fact have baby changing tables in men's rooms. Remember in the 60's (no? me either)...okay, remember reading about how in the 60s, when the Civil Rights battle was at it's peak? One big issue was that the bathroom situations were very different between races. It's similar now, but has changed from black/white to men/women. Women often having pretty smelling bathrooms, with chairs and changing tables...men's restrooms are a different story. I don't know if it's a guy hygiene thing or the fact that women tend to go to the bathroom in packs, but it does seem that the women's bathrooms are generally nicer than men's (or so I've heard).
Some single moms (the ones we always hear about) work their butts off providing for their family, but others are completely absent from their kids' lives. Some single dads also work their butts off providing for their family, but others (the ones we always hear about) could care less. I give amazing accolades to anyone who has to raise their child on their own - without any help from the other parent...it's not an easy job even when there are two people working together.
I went to GoFundMe and searched for "single moms" and found 30,880 pages with $12,762 donated to the first 10 pages that were shown. When I searched for single dad I found 23,984 pages with $9,928 donated to the first 10 pages shown. I don't know what this shows, because it's not really good research...either women are more likely to ask for handouts? or that people are more likely to give them to women? Or maybe it equals out if you look at all 54,864 of the pages.
So here's my very scratchy conclusion to this compilation of weird opinions.
Men have favoritism when it comes to work things - like pay, and job benefits. But are restricted when it comes to kids/home stuff - like staying home, custody, bathrooms...
Women however get treated better when it comes to kids and homeworker stuff. But are not as fairly treated when it comes to pay.
I still feel women get the better deal - money is the least thing I care about...but it still doesn't seem right that we can't just be judged in the work place by JUST our abilities and not gender (or race) and all be treated equally when it comes to domestic issues. I crave the day when this isn't even something that's an issue, it is just the same for all of us.
~End Ramble~
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/03/10/ashton-kutcher-diaper-changing-tables_n_6838778.html?1426003977&ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000037
For example: women are more likely than men to get custody, single moms are idolized and single dads are rarely mentioned, how stay at home dads are often considered lazy bums but stay at home moms are superheroes. Then on my feed came an article about the lack of baby changing tables in men's restrooms...and my newest post topic was born.
I'm not sure how to write all of this, so I know it will appear spotty at best. It seems the more I research the more I find that some things aren't as unequal as they may seem - but in different areas. I also struggle with the Bible's very real portrayal of the treatment of women and children as greater than that of men. It is hard to argue with God on this one...but, there are somethings that I feel are common courtesy to men - even when women may be perceived as the favored gender.
I'm all for equal rights, but they need to be equal for everyone. I also know that there are many places that do in fact have baby changing tables in men's rooms. Remember in the 60's (no? me either)...okay, remember reading about how in the 60s, when the Civil Rights battle was at it's peak? One big issue was that the bathroom situations were very different between races. It's similar now, but has changed from black/white to men/women. Women often having pretty smelling bathrooms, with chairs and changing tables...men's restrooms are a different story. I don't know if it's a guy hygiene thing or the fact that women tend to go to the bathroom in packs, but it does seem that the women's bathrooms are generally nicer than men's (or so I've heard).
Some single moms (the ones we always hear about) work their butts off providing for their family, but others are completely absent from their kids' lives. Some single dads also work their butts off providing for their family, but others (the ones we always hear about) could care less. I give amazing accolades to anyone who has to raise their child on their own - without any help from the other parent...it's not an easy job even when there are two people working together.
I went to GoFundMe and searched for "single moms" and found 30,880 pages with $12,762 donated to the first 10 pages that were shown. When I searched for single dad I found 23,984 pages with $9,928 donated to the first 10 pages shown. I don't know what this shows, because it's not really good research...either women are more likely to ask for handouts? or that people are more likely to give them to women? Or maybe it equals out if you look at all 54,864 of the pages.
So here's my very scratchy conclusion to this compilation of weird opinions.
Men have favoritism when it comes to work things - like pay, and job benefits. But are restricted when it comes to kids/home stuff - like staying home, custody, bathrooms...
Women however get treated better when it comes to kids and homeworker stuff. But are not as fairly treated when it comes to pay.
I still feel women get the better deal - money is the least thing I care about...but it still doesn't seem right that we can't just be judged in the work place by JUST our abilities and not gender (or race) and all be treated equally when it comes to domestic issues. I crave the day when this isn't even something that's an issue, it is just the same for all of us.
~End Ramble~
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/03/10/ashton-kutcher-diaper-changing-tables_n_6838778.html?1426003977&ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000037
Monday, February 23, 2015
The Problem With Discreet Breastfeeding
So today's post is brought to you by an article I read about discreet breastfeeding, and the fact that this issue has been bugging me for awhile anyway. The author of the post said, "I am sad for the mother who feels the pressure to hide her breasts whilst feeding her child, for fear of embarrassment." and that made me decide it was time to create this post.
So here's the thing - I'm VERY open about nursing my children and extremely pro-breastfeeding. I know several people who have struggled with nursing. I have been blessed with a decent supply and no other complications and I will nurse my babies as long as I can because it is truly a gift. I nurse because I am able to and that isn't something to waste.
But I HATE nursing in public and I DON'T like nursing around most people - most people being everyone except probably my mom, Thomas and Merrie. If I need to, I will always ask if it's okay first. It makes me feel uncomfortable, but it has nothing to do with being embarrassed about feeding my children.
There was a cartoon circulating a while ago that showed a breastfeeding mother next to a poster of a girl in a bikini and asking why the girl in the bikini is acceptable and the mother is often condemned. That one always gets me because I'm not sure either should be okay. I know that's a controversial thing to say, especially from someone who is so pro-breastfeeding. But for me, it's a modesty thing. I don't want anyone who isn't a very close person to me seeing any part of my chest. It's a crazy hard thing to do, because I'm not tiny - but I try. That doesn't matter if I'm just dressing for work, or home or nursing.
I tried covers with Merrie and she HATED them, so we resorted to piling blankets around me or going to secluded areas when we were around people. I haven't tried covers with Micah yet, but he does seem much more calm than Merrie, so we might have a chance - he doesn't mind blankets over him right now. But I will still go to a bedroom over nursing in a room full of people.
There are people who can nurse in public and not have anything showing, it is possible. But I'm not that coordinated and just don't want to be in an awkward position. NOT because I'm feeding my child, but because I'd be showing more of myself than I am comfortable. I do nurse in public, but it is as discreet as possible, again NOT because I'm embarrassed to be feeding my child naturally but because I'm embarrassed to be exposing a part of my body pretty much reserved for Thomas and my babies.
Personally, I feel that, instead of normalizing public breastfeeding we need to focus more on getting rid of the racy advertisements and other things that make showing off "perky" breasts okay. Maybe people should feel uncomfortable around those advertisements too, like they sometimes seem to be around a nursing mother.
That said...when I do nurse in public it is great to hear older women compliment me on nursing my child or ask me how it's going.
I know this isn't a popular opinion among the Pro-Breastfeeding community, but it is how I feel. I will always be pro-nursing and I will always support anyone who nurses in public. But for me, it's just not comfortable.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mama-bean/the-problem-with-discreet-breastfeeding_b_6633558.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000037
So here's the thing - I'm VERY open about nursing my children and extremely pro-breastfeeding. I know several people who have struggled with nursing. I have been blessed with a decent supply and no other complications and I will nurse my babies as long as I can because it is truly a gift. I nurse because I am able to and that isn't something to waste.
But I HATE nursing in public and I DON'T like nursing around most people - most people being everyone except probably my mom, Thomas and Merrie. If I need to, I will always ask if it's okay first. It makes me feel uncomfortable, but it has nothing to do with being embarrassed about feeding my children.
There was a cartoon circulating a while ago that showed a breastfeeding mother next to a poster of a girl in a bikini and asking why the girl in the bikini is acceptable and the mother is often condemned. That one always gets me because I'm not sure either should be okay. I know that's a controversial thing to say, especially from someone who is so pro-breastfeeding. But for me, it's a modesty thing. I don't want anyone who isn't a very close person to me seeing any part of my chest. It's a crazy hard thing to do, because I'm not tiny - but I try. That doesn't matter if I'm just dressing for work, or home or nursing.
I tried covers with Merrie and she HATED them, so we resorted to piling blankets around me or going to secluded areas when we were around people. I haven't tried covers with Micah yet, but he does seem much more calm than Merrie, so we might have a chance - he doesn't mind blankets over him right now. But I will still go to a bedroom over nursing in a room full of people.
There are people who can nurse in public and not have anything showing, it is possible. But I'm not that coordinated and just don't want to be in an awkward position. NOT because I'm feeding my child, but because I'd be showing more of myself than I am comfortable. I do nurse in public, but it is as discreet as possible, again NOT because I'm embarrassed to be feeding my child naturally but because I'm embarrassed to be exposing a part of my body pretty much reserved for Thomas and my babies.
Personally, I feel that, instead of normalizing public breastfeeding we need to focus more on getting rid of the racy advertisements and other things that make showing off "perky" breasts okay. Maybe people should feel uncomfortable around those advertisements too, like they sometimes seem to be around a nursing mother.
That said...when I do nurse in public it is great to hear older women compliment me on nursing my child or ask me how it's going.
I know this isn't a popular opinion among the Pro-Breastfeeding community, but it is how I feel. I will always be pro-nursing and I will always support anyone who nurses in public. But for me, it's just not comfortable.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mama-bean/the-problem-with-discreet-breastfeeding_b_6633558.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000037
Thursday, February 12, 2015
My Experiences Pumping at Work
When we were contemplating moving and accepting this job, one of the cons for staying was my hesitation at how I would be treated when I came back from maternity leave and needed to pump at work. Arizona's laws are very vague about the rights of a woman, especially in a company with less than 15 employees, which was my old school and my experience pumping there before wasn't exactly positive.
When I had Merrie, I had my pumping schedule all figured out. The SPED teacher let me use her room and her fridge, but I would still need to clean all the parts in the drinking fountain. I was fine with that. For my afternoon time I needed the 6th grade TA to cover my class. This worked for about a month, but controlling kids wasn't really her forte, so I always came back to chaos. Eventually, my boss told me I had to stop pumping during that time because the TA couldn't handle my kids. She also told me that the VP had breastfed all of her kids without pumping during the day, so it was possible. Being a new parent, and because Arizona's laws are so vague, and not knowing how PHYSICALLY painful it would be not to pump, I didn't fight her.
I also had another faculty member verbally bully me about pumping ALL THE TIME. She told me it was about time to stop and that Merrie "didn't need it" once I went back to work. After Merrie turned one, she would often ask if I was still nursing and when I told her yes, her response was always "still?" or "Why don't you stop?" Eventually, my supply dwindled during the day and I stopped pumping completely. Luckily, I was still able to nurse during the evening - which became our bonding time until she totally weaned herself right after she turned 2.
This time around, I told my boss right away I planned to pump after I returned to work, for the rest of the year and into next school year. He not only okayed it, but we've rearranged my schedule so the kids have recess in the middle of the morning instead of right before lunch. My TA takes them out - so even if she couldn't control them in the classroom they're just running around so it's easier.
When she's been unavailable he's covered for my class or like yesterday, another teacher watched them for me. I've only had a couple other teachers notice me cleaning my stuff, but when they have it's been nothing but support. It is a lot of work and it is exhausting - but I know I'm blessed with the ability to feed my kids this way...so I will, until they feel ready to stop. With Merrie, that was at about 26 months. With Micah, we'll see. But at least I know I have the respect to support my son here, I didn't have before.
http://breastfeedinglaw.com/articles/pumping-9-to-5/
When I had Merrie, I had my pumping schedule all figured out. The SPED teacher let me use her room and her fridge, but I would still need to clean all the parts in the drinking fountain. I was fine with that. For my afternoon time I needed the 6th grade TA to cover my class. This worked for about a month, but controlling kids wasn't really her forte, so I always came back to chaos. Eventually, my boss told me I had to stop pumping during that time because the TA couldn't handle my kids. She also told me that the VP had breastfed all of her kids without pumping during the day, so it was possible. Being a new parent, and because Arizona's laws are so vague, and not knowing how PHYSICALLY painful it would be not to pump, I didn't fight her.
I also had another faculty member verbally bully me about pumping ALL THE TIME. She told me it was about time to stop and that Merrie "didn't need it" once I went back to work. After Merrie turned one, she would often ask if I was still nursing and when I told her yes, her response was always "still?" or "Why don't you stop?" Eventually, my supply dwindled during the day and I stopped pumping completely. Luckily, I was still able to nurse during the evening - which became our bonding time until she totally weaned herself right after she turned 2.
This time around, I told my boss right away I planned to pump after I returned to work, for the rest of the year and into next school year. He not only okayed it, but we've rearranged my schedule so the kids have recess in the middle of the morning instead of right before lunch. My TA takes them out - so even if she couldn't control them in the classroom they're just running around so it's easier.
When she's been unavailable he's covered for my class or like yesterday, another teacher watched them for me. I've only had a couple other teachers notice me cleaning my stuff, but when they have it's been nothing but support. It is a lot of work and it is exhausting - but I know I'm blessed with the ability to feed my kids this way...so I will, until they feel ready to stop. With Merrie, that was at about 26 months. With Micah, we'll see. But at least I know I have the respect to support my son here, I didn't have before.
http://breastfeedinglaw.com/articles/pumping-9-to-5/
Saturday, February 7, 2015
For those who hate Common Core...
I've read several posts lately that bashed the Common Core standards. So here's my take, as an educator who was around (albeit for 2 years) before Common Core.
Stop hating on a group of standards - start hating on the curriculum your district choose instead or on how your child's teacher CHOOSES to teach them. School districts chose the curriculum that is used to teach your child NOT the common core. Teachers choose how to incorporate them into lessons.
For example:
"2.NBT.B.9. Explain why addition and subtraction strategies work, using place value and the properties of operations. (Explanations may be supported by drawings or objects.)
Examples are given:
Students need multiple opportunities explaining their addition and subtraction thinking. Operations embedded within a meaningful context promote development of reasoning and justification. Example:
Mason read 473 pages in June. He read 227 pages in July. How many pages did Mason read altogether?
Karla’s explanation: 473 + 227 = _____. I added the ones together (3 + 7) and got 10. Then I added the tens together (70 + 20) and got 90. I knew that 400 + 200 was 600. So I added 10 + 90 for 100 and added 100 + 600 and found out that Mason had read 700 pages altogether.
Debbie’s explanation: 473 + 227 = _____. I started by adding 200 to 473 and got 673. Then I added 20 to 673 and I got 693 and finally I added 7 to 693 and I knew that Mason had read 700 pages altogether. Becky’s explanation: I used base ten blocks on a base ten mat to help me solve this problem. I added 3 ones (units) plus 7 ones and got 10 ones which made one ten. I moved the 1 ten to the tens place. I then added 7 tens rods plus 2 tens rods plus 1 tens rod and got 10 tens or 100. I moved the 1 hundred to the hundreds place. Then I added 4 hundreds plus 2 hundreds plus 1 hundred and got 7 hundreds or 700. So Mason read 700 books.
Students should be able to connect different representations and explain the connections. Representations can include numbers, words (including mathematical language), pictures, number lines, and/or physical objects. Students should be able to use any/all of these representations as needed. An interactive whiteboard or document camera can be used to help students develop and explain their thinking."
This is a second grade standard, and while it isn't as easy as actually solving the problem. EXPLAINING how you get there is important too. For teachers, it's important for us to know a student gets it - not just that they can calculate the right numbers.
If your child is staying up frustrated and crying about homework - write a note and let the teacher know you need a better explanation on how to solve it. Don't ever let a teacher tell you, "don't help" - that's BULL. NEVER do your child's homework - that doesn't help them learn it just shows them it's okay to do someone else's work for them. It also won't let the teacher know what they need to work on with your child - the correct answers will actually make them think your child gets it and doesn't need help.
The other issue - the staying up all night issue, isn't Common Core's fault, it's the teacher's fault for assigning too much homework or homework that is too hard. The purpose of Common Core is to provide students with extra ways in which to solve problems - not just one concrete way. We all learn differently, which is the basis behind more detailed standards.
As I read the last couple statements I realize I'm putting a lot of blame on the classroom teacher - but seriously it is...or on the district if they are so micro-managing that they dictate how teachers teach in the classroom. The Common Core are a set of standards that are common throughout most of the country. The goal was to create a more equal playing field between the states, so that when students move from state to state they will be taught relatively the same thing and won't be too far behind or above the rest of their class.
Don't let a district tell you it's to Common Core's fault - they are just a set of guidelines, they don't force a certain way of teaching.
In my classroom, I teach my students several ways to solve a problem - then I let them choose which one they want to use. As long as we end up at the same place and they can tell me how to get there. I don't care which way they used. That's how Common Core should be implemented - showing several different ways to solve a problem and then letting students choose the one they like best - because we all get there different ways.
Have I used number lines to show multiplication? yes. Have I used blocks to show multiplication? yes. Do some kids get frustrated? yes. Have I had parents tell me they stayed up with a frustrated kid? yes. Was it my fault for giving work that was too hard? yes. But I take blame for that - I'm not going to blame it on a piece of paper.
If you think the Common Core is too hard, check out what other kids around the world have to do:
http://hrd.apec.org/index.php/Mathematics_Standards_in_APEC_Economies
Example was taken from Arizona's College and Career Readiness Standards:
http://www.azed.gov/azccrs/
Stop hating on a group of standards - start hating on the curriculum your district choose instead or on how your child's teacher CHOOSES to teach them. School districts chose the curriculum that is used to teach your child NOT the common core. Teachers choose how to incorporate them into lessons.
For example:
"2.NBT.B.9. Explain why addition and subtraction strategies work, using place value and the properties of operations. (Explanations may be supported by drawings or objects.)
Examples are given:
Students need multiple opportunities explaining their addition and subtraction thinking. Operations embedded within a meaningful context promote development of reasoning and justification. Example:
Mason read 473 pages in June. He read 227 pages in July. How many pages did Mason read altogether?
Karla’s explanation: 473 + 227 = _____. I added the ones together (3 + 7) and got 10. Then I added the tens together (70 + 20) and got 90. I knew that 400 + 200 was 600. So I added 10 + 90 for 100 and added 100 + 600 and found out that Mason had read 700 pages altogether.
Debbie’s explanation: 473 + 227 = _____. I started by adding 200 to 473 and got 673. Then I added 20 to 673 and I got 693 and finally I added 7 to 693 and I knew that Mason had read 700 pages altogether. Becky’s explanation: I used base ten blocks on a base ten mat to help me solve this problem. I added 3 ones (units) plus 7 ones and got 10 ones which made one ten. I moved the 1 ten to the tens place. I then added 7 tens rods plus 2 tens rods plus 1 tens rod and got 10 tens or 100. I moved the 1 hundred to the hundreds place. Then I added 4 hundreds plus 2 hundreds plus 1 hundred and got 7 hundreds or 700. So Mason read 700 books.
Students should be able to connect different representations and explain the connections. Representations can include numbers, words (including mathematical language), pictures, number lines, and/or physical objects. Students should be able to use any/all of these representations as needed. An interactive whiteboard or document camera can be used to help students develop and explain their thinking."
This is a second grade standard, and while it isn't as easy as actually solving the problem. EXPLAINING how you get there is important too. For teachers, it's important for us to know a student gets it - not just that they can calculate the right numbers.
If your child is staying up frustrated and crying about homework - write a note and let the teacher know you need a better explanation on how to solve it. Don't ever let a teacher tell you, "don't help" - that's BULL. NEVER do your child's homework - that doesn't help them learn it just shows them it's okay to do someone else's work for them. It also won't let the teacher know what they need to work on with your child - the correct answers will actually make them think your child gets it and doesn't need help.
The other issue - the staying up all night issue, isn't Common Core's fault, it's the teacher's fault for assigning too much homework or homework that is too hard. The purpose of Common Core is to provide students with extra ways in which to solve problems - not just one concrete way. We all learn differently, which is the basis behind more detailed standards.
As I read the last couple statements I realize I'm putting a lot of blame on the classroom teacher - but seriously it is...or on the district if they are so micro-managing that they dictate how teachers teach in the classroom. The Common Core are a set of standards that are common throughout most of the country. The goal was to create a more equal playing field between the states, so that when students move from state to state they will be taught relatively the same thing and won't be too far behind or above the rest of their class.
Don't let a district tell you it's to Common Core's fault - they are just a set of guidelines, they don't force a certain way of teaching.
In my classroom, I teach my students several ways to solve a problem - then I let them choose which one they want to use. As long as we end up at the same place and they can tell me how to get there. I don't care which way they used. That's how Common Core should be implemented - showing several different ways to solve a problem and then letting students choose the one they like best - because we all get there different ways.
Have I used number lines to show multiplication? yes. Have I used blocks to show multiplication? yes. Do some kids get frustrated? yes. Have I had parents tell me they stayed up with a frustrated kid? yes. Was it my fault for giving work that was too hard? yes. But I take blame for that - I'm not going to blame it on a piece of paper.
If you think the Common Core is too hard, check out what other kids around the world have to do:
http://hrd.apec.org/index.php/Mathematics_Standards_in_APEC_Economies
Example was taken from Arizona's College and Career Readiness Standards:
http://www.azed.gov/azccrs/
Friday, January 23, 2015
Free-Range or Helicopter??
I read an article today about a mother who is under investigation for allowing her children (10 and 6) to walk to a playground on their own. In fact, I've read a couple articles recently about parents allowing their kids to walk home from playgrounds or play outside by themselves. One was about a parent who was criticized for letting her son play outside, where she could see him from the window.
In Douglas, my 10/11 year-olds walked home from school everyday. Many of them walked to MEXICO on their own, which was a good couple miles away. I can't recall one instance where they were kidnapped, or hurt in the process.
Free-range parenting is the idea that you gradually allow your kids more freedom to travel and play without adult supervision. At a younger age than what is culturally deemed "normal" by today's society.
When I was 11, I had a JOB that required me to ride my bike 3 miles ONE WAY to deliver newspapers to complete strangers. I think the only time my parents were with me was if it was raining. Wonder if my parents would have been under investigation too? I never felt scared or threatened. Maybe there were creeps in some of those houses, but most of my customers were really nice. I also walked 2 miles home from school on occasion in middle school (or rode my bike). That ride was on country roads...very unsafe.
When did we get so protective?
Obviously, I'm not going to let my 3 year old walk a mile to the park, but I do let her play in the yard while I'm in the house. What I allow her to do on her own will expand as she develops her ability to communicate and decipher hazardous situations. To me, when you let your child do something unattended isn't based on an age. It depends on her maturity and how much I trust her.
You can't save your kids from everything, it's impossible. In fact, I think helicopter parenting is more harmful than free-range parenting, because it doesn't allow kids to develop true independence - something they will need later in life. The best thing you can do is prepare them for as many situations as you can. Merrie will know how to protect herself and how to identify strangers who could hurt her - we're already teaching her these things. If you don't prepare your child early, than when they are older they won't know how to handle themselves in those situations.
Allowing your child to walk home from school or the park, gives then a measure of independence that will help develop their overall independence...something they will need to survive in the real world.
I also think this is something that responsible parents shouldn't have to worry being judged about. There are far worse things the governments needs to spend money on than whether or not a 10 yr old can walk his sister home from the park.
Read One Referenced Story:
http://fox13now.com/2015/01/23/another-family-under-investigation-after-letting-children-walk-home-alone/
In Douglas, my 10/11 year-olds walked home from school everyday. Many of them walked to MEXICO on their own, which was a good couple miles away. I can't recall one instance where they were kidnapped, or hurt in the process.
Free-range parenting is the idea that you gradually allow your kids more freedom to travel and play without adult supervision. At a younger age than what is culturally deemed "normal" by today's society.
When I was 11, I had a JOB that required me to ride my bike 3 miles ONE WAY to deliver newspapers to complete strangers. I think the only time my parents were with me was if it was raining. Wonder if my parents would have been under investigation too? I never felt scared or threatened. Maybe there were creeps in some of those houses, but most of my customers were really nice. I also walked 2 miles home from school on occasion in middle school (or rode my bike). That ride was on country roads...very unsafe.
When did we get so protective?
Obviously, I'm not going to let my 3 year old walk a mile to the park, but I do let her play in the yard while I'm in the house. What I allow her to do on her own will expand as she develops her ability to communicate and decipher hazardous situations. To me, when you let your child do something unattended isn't based on an age. It depends on her maturity and how much I trust her.
You can't save your kids from everything, it's impossible. In fact, I think helicopter parenting is more harmful than free-range parenting, because it doesn't allow kids to develop true independence - something they will need later in life. The best thing you can do is prepare them for as many situations as you can. Merrie will know how to protect herself and how to identify strangers who could hurt her - we're already teaching her these things. If you don't prepare your child early, than when they are older they won't know how to handle themselves in those situations.
Allowing your child to walk home from school or the park, gives then a measure of independence that will help develop their overall independence...something they will need to survive in the real world.
I also think this is something that responsible parents shouldn't have to worry being judged about. There are far worse things the governments needs to spend money on than whether or not a 10 yr old can walk his sister home from the park.
Read One Referenced Story:
http://fox13now.com/2015/01/23/another-family-under-investigation-after-letting-children-walk-home-alone/
Friday, January 16, 2015
First Full Day Back :)
Made it the full day today, but will definitely have to go back in this weekend to have everything ready for Tuesday. There is a lot of stuff I need to sort through and my room definitely needs a face lift. I found piles of papers all over my room, and because they may be student work I don't want to throw them away. I may just make a huge pile and go through it as I have time. My tables need to be cleaned/wiped down with a very good spray and my white boards need a good cleaning.
I do however, know where my kids are in each subject and where I need to start Tuesday. For the most part, they are just a bit behind where I wanted. Whenever there is a substitute there is always a margin of error that increases the longer you are gone. I don't think they're knowledge level decreased which is good My boss also has allowed my kids to take their recess between math and reading with our instructional assistant, instead of right before lunch, so I have a break in the middle of the morning to pump. There is definitely more support here for my desire to feed Micah naturally, than I had in Douglas - BY FAR. It's a nice change.
I've added three plastic containers, a filing cabinet and a mini-fridge to my room. I'm also revamping my behavior management system (think clothes pins and colors) and my literature circles per my master's theses. I can't wait to explain the great mechanics of master's courses to my kids (haha) and I am most excited for the mini-fridge in my room. I am also happy to see my kids again too...
Thomas, Merrie and Micah made it through the day great. Micah is taking bottles really slow, but he's taking them and still nursing great. We are giving him 4 oz. bottles, which he's taking about every 3 hours. They're on a slow drip (which contributes to his taking longer to drink them) and he likes to fall asleep while eating too. Today, Thomas said he barely slept. I got home, nursed him for about five minutes around 6 and he's been asleep ever since...figures :) Hopefully we'll still get some sleep tonight!
Merrie has been AMAZING helping Thomas out. When he needs to go outside Thomas sets the bouncer up by the door and Merrie watches Micah. She puts his blanket back up if it falls down and she's become a master at giving him his pacifier. Thankfully, she knows if he's sleeping and pushes it out not to give it back to him. She also hasn't been giving Thomas as much trouble pushing his buttons as normal, which helps my stress level too.
Micah seems to be treating the pacifier like Merrie did. He'll take it, but he tends to spit it out and is still okay. It just calms him down. Hopefully in about a month we'll be done with it. We failed Merrie with her thumb, so we're glad that, so far, Micah hasn't found his yet either - that might contribute to a bit longer time with the pacifier though...we'll see.
We've also found that Micah is much more dependent on us than Merrie was at this age. He DOES NOT like to be put down. Merrie was good chilling in the bouncer forever. I think this is just a personality difference. Hopefully, he'll grow to be more independent as he gets older.
Another funny thing we've noticed is that Micah is also not fond of ANY poop in his diaper. Today, Thomas said he was screaming and he didn't want to bottle and didn't want to rock. So Thomas took his diaper off, with what he said was just a "speck" of poop, and then put the same diaper right back on...and he quieted down right away.
In all, today was very busy and I'm very tired - but it was educational and looks like the kids at least are ready for me to go back to work. I however, really am not ready to leave my babies. But it is what it is!
For the record, a full day is from 7:30 to 4:30...
I do however, know where my kids are in each subject and where I need to start Tuesday. For the most part, they are just a bit behind where I wanted. Whenever there is a substitute there is always a margin of error that increases the longer you are gone. I don't think they're knowledge level decreased which is good My boss also has allowed my kids to take their recess between math and reading with our instructional assistant, instead of right before lunch, so I have a break in the middle of the morning to pump. There is definitely more support here for my desire to feed Micah naturally, than I had in Douglas - BY FAR. It's a nice change.
I've added three plastic containers, a filing cabinet and a mini-fridge to my room. I'm also revamping my behavior management system (think clothes pins and colors) and my literature circles per my master's theses. I can't wait to explain the great mechanics of master's courses to my kids (haha) and I am most excited for the mini-fridge in my room. I am also happy to see my kids again too...
Thomas, Merrie and Micah made it through the day great. Micah is taking bottles really slow, but he's taking them and still nursing great. We are giving him 4 oz. bottles, which he's taking about every 3 hours. They're on a slow drip (which contributes to his taking longer to drink them) and he likes to fall asleep while eating too. Today, Thomas said he barely slept. I got home, nursed him for about five minutes around 6 and he's been asleep ever since...figures :) Hopefully we'll still get some sleep tonight!
Merrie has been AMAZING helping Thomas out. When he needs to go outside Thomas sets the bouncer up by the door and Merrie watches Micah. She puts his blanket back up if it falls down and she's become a master at giving him his pacifier. Thankfully, she knows if he's sleeping and pushes it out not to give it back to him. She also hasn't been giving Thomas as much trouble pushing his buttons as normal, which helps my stress level too.
Micah seems to be treating the pacifier like Merrie did. He'll take it, but he tends to spit it out and is still okay. It just calms him down. Hopefully in about a month we'll be done with it. We failed Merrie with her thumb, so we're glad that, so far, Micah hasn't found his yet either - that might contribute to a bit longer time with the pacifier though...we'll see.
We've also found that Micah is much more dependent on us than Merrie was at this age. He DOES NOT like to be put down. Merrie was good chilling in the bouncer forever. I think this is just a personality difference. Hopefully, he'll grow to be more independent as he gets older.
Another funny thing we've noticed is that Micah is also not fond of ANY poop in his diaper. Today, Thomas said he was screaming and he didn't want to bottle and didn't want to rock. So Thomas took his diaper off, with what he said was just a "speck" of poop, and then put the same diaper right back on...and he quieted down right away.
In all, today was very busy and I'm very tired - but it was educational and looks like the kids at least are ready for me to go back to work. I however, really am not ready to leave my babies. But it is what it is!
For the record, a full day is from 7:30 to 4:30...
Monday, January 12, 2015
The Disney Princess Battle
One of my parents wrote our Spring play, which is basically two narrators telling the basic plot lines of several different fairy tales (very basically - there is much more depth than that).
She asked what my favorite fairy tale was and I told her (thinking purely Disney) I didn't have one. Which is true, unless of course, you include the Lion King. I've never liked that for the most part, they all involve princesses relying on Prince Charming to save them and generally can't do much for themselves. Cinderella had to have a prince save her from her Step mom instead of just moving out of a bad situation - Aurora AND Snow White had to have a total stranger kiss them, which is actually a bit creepy.
Ariel (my least favorite) disobeyed her dad to be turned into a human so she could be with a guy she'd only seen once and then of course it all worked out - telling little girls everywhere it is okay to disobey your parents because your love at first sight will just run a boat through the evil witch and your daddy will forgive you and turn you back into a human and there will be rainbows and the wedding boat will ride off into the sunset. No consequences.
Tonight, I read a blog titled "A fathers battle with the Disney princess army", and I have to say - I completely related. Last year, for Merrie's birthday she wanted puppy stuff - so we did a puppy themed party. This year, our Disney princess battle started with Sofia the First (who by all accounts is a pretty good kid - much better attitude than her stepsister). NOW we have our own stock of princess dresses that include: Merida, Anna, Elsa and Sofia - and I'm sure it will grow. Merrie also pretends to be other princesses in her normal clothes, but these are her 4 go-tos. With each outfit comes a completely different "Merrie". She takes on the persona, complete with voice change and walking on tip toes, of the princess in which she is portraying. Today, she had her Elsa dress on and told "Anna" to go away before she shut her bedroom door. What made me smile even more was the day she wore all red and pretended to be Mrs. Incredible (who by the way has the best hips of any princess, but still has that darn waist).
There is an amazing amount of perceptiveness in what she comprehends! With this attention to detail, I'm sure will come the time when she herself has comments about why all the princesses have thin waists and huge eyes and I hope sincerely she will grow out of this phase enough to know that Disney's portrayal of what a "beautiful woman" is, is not ideal or even possible.
Someone once told me that Prince Charming could, in a very loose sense, relate to Christ saving us from things we can't get out of ourselves. Maybe, maybe I don't give my 3 year old enough credit, and she might actually think that deeply...but I know that for me, these stories left me waiting for that "Love at First Sight" experience, which I actually dreamed up once and that crush took up much of my middle/high school career.
All this being said, Merrie still loves her G.I. Joes, Transformers and "Turtles" (the originals, brought to us by the Hub), so I know she hasn't been completely brainwashed into princessness. She continually tells me that I am beautiful, so I know her perception of beauty is definitely not based on the appearance of the princesses. For now, like the dad in the blog, I will let her pretend to be someone else because we've all done that and come out at the other end fine - but the minute she starts telling me she wants to look like Belle or Jasmine is the minute we turn NickJr back on instead of Disney!
Read the Blog here:
http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/110515-a-fathers-battle-with-the-disney-princess-army/?utm_source=huffingtonpost.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=pubexchange_facebook
She asked what my favorite fairy tale was and I told her (thinking purely Disney) I didn't have one. Which is true, unless of course, you include the Lion King. I've never liked that for the most part, they all involve princesses relying on Prince Charming to save them and generally can't do much for themselves. Cinderella had to have a prince save her from her Step mom instead of just moving out of a bad situation - Aurora AND Snow White had to have a total stranger kiss them, which is actually a bit creepy.
Ariel (my least favorite) disobeyed her dad to be turned into a human so she could be with a guy she'd only seen once and then of course it all worked out - telling little girls everywhere it is okay to disobey your parents because your love at first sight will just run a boat through the evil witch and your daddy will forgive you and turn you back into a human and there will be rainbows and the wedding boat will ride off into the sunset. No consequences.
Tonight, I read a blog titled "A fathers battle with the Disney princess army", and I have to say - I completely related. Last year, for Merrie's birthday she wanted puppy stuff - so we did a puppy themed party. This year, our Disney princess battle started with Sofia the First (who by all accounts is a pretty good kid - much better attitude than her stepsister). NOW we have our own stock of princess dresses that include: Merida, Anna, Elsa and Sofia - and I'm sure it will grow. Merrie also pretends to be other princesses in her normal clothes, but these are her 4 go-tos. With each outfit comes a completely different "Merrie". She takes on the persona, complete with voice change and walking on tip toes, of the princess in which she is portraying. Today, she had her Elsa dress on and told "Anna" to go away before she shut her bedroom door. What made me smile even more was the day she wore all red and pretended to be Mrs. Incredible (who by the way has the best hips of any princess, but still has that darn waist).
There is an amazing amount of perceptiveness in what she comprehends! With this attention to detail, I'm sure will come the time when she herself has comments about why all the princesses have thin waists and huge eyes and I hope sincerely she will grow out of this phase enough to know that Disney's portrayal of what a "beautiful woman" is, is not ideal or even possible.
Someone once told me that Prince Charming could, in a very loose sense, relate to Christ saving us from things we can't get out of ourselves. Maybe, maybe I don't give my 3 year old enough credit, and she might actually think that deeply...but I know that for me, these stories left me waiting for that "Love at First Sight" experience, which I actually dreamed up once and that crush took up much of my middle/high school career.
All this being said, Merrie still loves her G.I. Joes, Transformers and "Turtles" (the originals, brought to us by the Hub), so I know she hasn't been completely brainwashed into princessness. She continually tells me that I am beautiful, so I know her perception of beauty is definitely not based on the appearance of the princesses. For now, like the dad in the blog, I will let her pretend to be someone else because we've all done that and come out at the other end fine - but the minute she starts telling me she wants to look like Belle or Jasmine is the minute we turn NickJr back on instead of Disney!
Read the Blog here:
http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/110515-a-fathers-battle-with-the-disney-princess-army/?utm_source=huffingtonpost.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=pubexchange_facebook
Friday, January 9, 2015
I JUST had a baby!
I don't know how many different personality tests I've taken over the years, hundreds probably, but they all say pretty much the same thing...I am a people pleaser - I do everything possible to make those around me happy, often at my own expensive (I have a hard time saying "no"). I also don't take failure well and hate receiving gifts/compliments in front of a lot of people.
One of the side effects to this particular personality trait (along with not being able to say no) is that I have a hard time relaxing, especially when I have extended time off of work. So, over the last 6 weeks, I've found myself working more often than I probably should be. Whether it's lesson planning or filling out forms for something needed at school - teachers do most of their work away from school. I haven't been sleeping enough, I've been stressing about making sure I get things done and see people and get Christmas/birthday presents/cards sent out and disappointing people because I'm not able to go to something because all I want to do is sleep and making sure everyone in my little family is happy too. I've also been worrying about my supply once I go back to work and whether or not I'll be able to pump at work - which is probably my biggest fear right now.
I read an article today about how I need to sit back and remember that I just went through a pretty traumatic experience and need to give myself time to recover - everything else can wait. So, although I only have a couple days left of my maternity leave, I am going to do just that. Until Wednesday I am not
> Going to stress about making other people happy
> Going to work on ANYTHING work related
> Going to answer ANY emails or texts from work
> Going to stress about what other people think about ANYTHING
> Going to worry about losing my supply or having to struggle to find time to pump
I know I only have a few days left before I go back to work, but maybe they will be more relaxing than the last several weeks have been. I've got to remember to take care of myself too!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ashlee-gadd/you-just-had-a-baby_b_6439326.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000037
One of the side effects to this particular personality trait (along with not being able to say no) is that I have a hard time relaxing, especially when I have extended time off of work. So, over the last 6 weeks, I've found myself working more often than I probably should be. Whether it's lesson planning or filling out forms for something needed at school - teachers do most of their work away from school. I haven't been sleeping enough, I've been stressing about making sure I get things done and see people and get Christmas/birthday presents/cards sent out and disappointing people because I'm not able to go to something because all I want to do is sleep and making sure everyone in my little family is happy too. I've also been worrying about my supply once I go back to work and whether or not I'll be able to pump at work - which is probably my biggest fear right now.
I read an article today about how I need to sit back and remember that I just went through a pretty traumatic experience and need to give myself time to recover - everything else can wait. So, although I only have a couple days left of my maternity leave, I am going to do just that. Until Wednesday I am not
> Going to stress about making other people happy
> Going to work on ANYTHING work related
> Going to answer ANY emails or texts from work
> Going to stress about what other people think about ANYTHING
> Going to worry about losing my supply or having to struggle to find time to pump
I know I only have a few days left before I go back to work, but maybe they will be more relaxing than the last several weeks have been. I've got to remember to take care of myself too!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ashlee-gadd/you-just-had-a-baby_b_6439326.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000037
Saturday, January 3, 2015
You can find an article to justify anything!
So here's what caught my attention today. I noticed a post about an article against spanking, then after reading the article, one of the articles that popped up was pro-spanking. Both from relatively credible sources (Fox and CNN). Here's my take: Regardless of your position on a certain debate, you can always find research to support your opinion. You could probably also find a Bible verse to support your opinion.
Because I can't keep my opinions to myself, here's mine on spanking. I grew up in a "spanking" house. If we misbehaved bad enough, we were spanked. Once we were about 8-9 the choice for grounding came into play until we were about 10-11 and then we were grounded instead of spanked. Personally, I always chose to be spanked, because the punishment was over quickly. My parents never hit us incredibly hard and I was never bruised or scared in anyway during a spanking.
There are 7 kids in my family, we all have different temperaments and personalities. We're all intelligent, two of my sisters and I have master's degrees. We all did well musically and took many higher level classes. NONE of us have been incarcerated (as far as I know). I really don't feel like we're scarred in anyway because of the way in which my parents disciplined us. Whenever we were punished, we always knew our parents loved us and we also knew we had done whatever punishment fit the crime. If in the event we were punished unfairly, it was met with an apology. Parents are humans too. I might be off and maybe this is not the perception of my siblings, but I think I'm pretty close.
Now, I am also part of a family recovering from very real physical abuse and know in detail the effects that abuse had on at least one person. Here are some differences:
*In this particular family, all children are incredibly intelligent and there is no evidence that this intelligence decreased as a direct result of said abuse AND the use of that intelligence did not differ in either family.
**I also don't want to blame many of these things solely on the actions of parents, this person, as an adult made these choices of his own freewill...but I do believe his past helped kindle these decisions.
Whatever your opinion - there is a true difference between lovingly disciplining your child so they don't become spoiled, entitled adults and abusing your child to the point of real physical and mental harm. Make sure, however you discipline your child, you do it in a way that shows them you love and respect them.
Pro-Spanking:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/2010/01/04/study-spanked-children-may-grow-up-to-be-happier-more-successful/
Anti-Spanking:
http://www.cnn.com/2014/07/23/health/effects-spanking-brain/index.html
Because I can't keep my opinions to myself, here's mine on spanking. I grew up in a "spanking" house. If we misbehaved bad enough, we were spanked. Once we were about 8-9 the choice for grounding came into play until we were about 10-11 and then we were grounded instead of spanked. Personally, I always chose to be spanked, because the punishment was over quickly. My parents never hit us incredibly hard and I was never bruised or scared in anyway during a spanking.
There are 7 kids in my family, we all have different temperaments and personalities. We're all intelligent, two of my sisters and I have master's degrees. We all did well musically and took many higher level classes. NONE of us have been incarcerated (as far as I know). I really don't feel like we're scarred in anyway because of the way in which my parents disciplined us. Whenever we were punished, we always knew our parents loved us and we also knew we had done whatever punishment fit the crime. If in the event we were punished unfairly, it was met with an apology. Parents are humans too. I might be off and maybe this is not the perception of my siblings, but I think I'm pretty close.
Now, I am also part of a family recovering from very real physical abuse and know in detail the effects that abuse had on at least one person. Here are some differences:
- children who feared their parents and up until recently had very real hatred for them
- children who were punished when teachers found actual physical markings of abuse
- parents who never apologized for their actions when wrong (until recently)
- children punished for the actions of others
- children who have criminal histories
- extensive substance abuse
- struggle to stay in stable-healthy relationships
*In this particular family, all children are incredibly intelligent and there is no evidence that this intelligence decreased as a direct result of said abuse AND the use of that intelligence did not differ in either family.
**I also don't want to blame many of these things solely on the actions of parents, this person, as an adult made these choices of his own freewill...but I do believe his past helped kindle these decisions.
Whatever your opinion - there is a true difference between lovingly disciplining your child so they don't become spoiled, entitled adults and abusing your child to the point of real physical and mental harm. Make sure, however you discipline your child, you do it in a way that shows them you love and respect them.
Pro-Spanking:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/2010/01/04/study-spanked-children-may-grow-up-to-be-happier-more-successful/
Anti-Spanking:
http://www.cnn.com/2014/07/23/health/effects-spanking-brain/index.html
Thursday, January 1, 2015
Welcome 2015!!
When we went for Micah's 1 week checkup, the Doctor told me I should write a book about my experiences and opinions on raising kids because I was so sure of what we were doing. I'm not sure how accurate he was, but I am tired of creating heated debates on Facebook. I've also come to realize that many things I want to write on Facebook, most people don't want to see - especially those without kids...so the goal is to write more updates here than via my Facebook wall. That way - if you don't want to hear about it, you don't have to and if you do, than you can. I'm skeptical about doing any new year's resolutions, because they haven't been very successful for me the past couple years. In HS however, I was able to keep them really well - not sure where the disconnect is. Anyway, I'll update on things like our family weight loss journey and baby growth and school/work stuff. Probably will talk more about stuff that creates tension on Facebook...that way I don't provoke a huge debate.
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