I read an article today about a mother who is under investigation for allowing her children (10 and 6) to walk to a playground on their own. In fact, I've read a couple articles recently about parents allowing their kids to walk home from playgrounds or play outside by themselves. One was about a parent who was criticized for letting her son play outside, where she could see him from the window.
In Douglas, my 10/11 year-olds walked home from school everyday. Many of them walked to MEXICO on their own, which was a good couple miles away. I can't recall one instance where they were kidnapped, or hurt in the process.
Free-range parenting is the idea that you gradually allow your kids more freedom to travel and play without adult supervision. At a younger age than what is culturally deemed "normal" by today's society.
When I was 11, I had a JOB that required me to ride my bike 3 miles ONE WAY to deliver newspapers to complete strangers. I think the only time my parents were with me was if it was raining. Wonder if my parents would have been under investigation too? I never felt scared or threatened. Maybe there were creeps in some of those houses, but most of my customers were really nice. I also walked 2 miles home from school on occasion in middle school (or rode my bike). That ride was on country roads...very unsafe.
When did we get so protective?
Obviously, I'm not going to let my 3 year old walk a mile to the park, but I do let her play in the yard while I'm in the house. What I allow her to do on her own will expand as she develops her ability to communicate and decipher hazardous situations. To me, when you let your child do something unattended isn't based on an age. It depends on her maturity and how much I trust her.
You can't save your kids from everything, it's impossible. In fact, I think helicopter parenting is more harmful than free-range parenting, because it doesn't allow kids to develop true independence - something they will need later in life. The best thing you can do is prepare them for as many situations as you can. Merrie will know how to protect herself and how to identify strangers who could hurt her - we're already teaching her these things. If you don't prepare your child early, than when they are older they won't know how to handle themselves in those situations.
Allowing your child to walk home from school or the park, gives then a measure of independence that will help develop their overall independence...something they will need to survive in the real world.
I also think this is something that responsible parents shouldn't have to worry being judged about. There are far worse things the governments needs to spend money on than whether or not a 10 yr old can walk his sister home from the park.
Read One Referenced Story:
http://fox13now.com/2015/01/23/another-family-under-investigation-after-letting-children-walk-home-alone/
Friday, January 23, 2015
Friday, January 16, 2015
First Full Day Back :)
Made it the full day today, but will definitely have to go back in this weekend to have everything ready for Tuesday. There is a lot of stuff I need to sort through and my room definitely needs a face lift. I found piles of papers all over my room, and because they may be student work I don't want to throw them away. I may just make a huge pile and go through it as I have time. My tables need to be cleaned/wiped down with a very good spray and my white boards need a good cleaning.
I do however, know where my kids are in each subject and where I need to start Tuesday. For the most part, they are just a bit behind where I wanted. Whenever there is a substitute there is always a margin of error that increases the longer you are gone. I don't think they're knowledge level decreased which is good My boss also has allowed my kids to take their recess between math and reading with our instructional assistant, instead of right before lunch, so I have a break in the middle of the morning to pump. There is definitely more support here for my desire to feed Micah naturally, than I had in Douglas - BY FAR. It's a nice change.
I've added three plastic containers, a filing cabinet and a mini-fridge to my room. I'm also revamping my behavior management system (think clothes pins and colors) and my literature circles per my master's theses. I can't wait to explain the great mechanics of master's courses to my kids (haha) and I am most excited for the mini-fridge in my room. I am also happy to see my kids again too...
Thomas, Merrie and Micah made it through the day great. Micah is taking bottles really slow, but he's taking them and still nursing great. We are giving him 4 oz. bottles, which he's taking about every 3 hours. They're on a slow drip (which contributes to his taking longer to drink them) and he likes to fall asleep while eating too. Today, Thomas said he barely slept. I got home, nursed him for about five minutes around 6 and he's been asleep ever since...figures :) Hopefully we'll still get some sleep tonight!
Merrie has been AMAZING helping Thomas out. When he needs to go outside Thomas sets the bouncer up by the door and Merrie watches Micah. She puts his blanket back up if it falls down and she's become a master at giving him his pacifier. Thankfully, she knows if he's sleeping and pushes it out not to give it back to him. She also hasn't been giving Thomas as much trouble pushing his buttons as normal, which helps my stress level too.
Micah seems to be treating the pacifier like Merrie did. He'll take it, but he tends to spit it out and is still okay. It just calms him down. Hopefully in about a month we'll be done with it. We failed Merrie with her thumb, so we're glad that, so far, Micah hasn't found his yet either - that might contribute to a bit longer time with the pacifier though...we'll see.
We've also found that Micah is much more dependent on us than Merrie was at this age. He DOES NOT like to be put down. Merrie was good chilling in the bouncer forever. I think this is just a personality difference. Hopefully, he'll grow to be more independent as he gets older.
Another funny thing we've noticed is that Micah is also not fond of ANY poop in his diaper. Today, Thomas said he was screaming and he didn't want to bottle and didn't want to rock. So Thomas took his diaper off, with what he said was just a "speck" of poop, and then put the same diaper right back on...and he quieted down right away.
In all, today was very busy and I'm very tired - but it was educational and looks like the kids at least are ready for me to go back to work. I however, really am not ready to leave my babies. But it is what it is!
For the record, a full day is from 7:30 to 4:30...
I do however, know where my kids are in each subject and where I need to start Tuesday. For the most part, they are just a bit behind where I wanted. Whenever there is a substitute there is always a margin of error that increases the longer you are gone. I don't think they're knowledge level decreased which is good My boss also has allowed my kids to take their recess between math and reading with our instructional assistant, instead of right before lunch, so I have a break in the middle of the morning to pump. There is definitely more support here for my desire to feed Micah naturally, than I had in Douglas - BY FAR. It's a nice change.
I've added three plastic containers, a filing cabinet and a mini-fridge to my room. I'm also revamping my behavior management system (think clothes pins and colors) and my literature circles per my master's theses. I can't wait to explain the great mechanics of master's courses to my kids (haha) and I am most excited for the mini-fridge in my room. I am also happy to see my kids again too...
Thomas, Merrie and Micah made it through the day great. Micah is taking bottles really slow, but he's taking them and still nursing great. We are giving him 4 oz. bottles, which he's taking about every 3 hours. They're on a slow drip (which contributes to his taking longer to drink them) and he likes to fall asleep while eating too. Today, Thomas said he barely slept. I got home, nursed him for about five minutes around 6 and he's been asleep ever since...figures :) Hopefully we'll still get some sleep tonight!
Merrie has been AMAZING helping Thomas out. When he needs to go outside Thomas sets the bouncer up by the door and Merrie watches Micah. She puts his blanket back up if it falls down and she's become a master at giving him his pacifier. Thankfully, she knows if he's sleeping and pushes it out not to give it back to him. She also hasn't been giving Thomas as much trouble pushing his buttons as normal, which helps my stress level too.
Micah seems to be treating the pacifier like Merrie did. He'll take it, but he tends to spit it out and is still okay. It just calms him down. Hopefully in about a month we'll be done with it. We failed Merrie with her thumb, so we're glad that, so far, Micah hasn't found his yet either - that might contribute to a bit longer time with the pacifier though...we'll see.
We've also found that Micah is much more dependent on us than Merrie was at this age. He DOES NOT like to be put down. Merrie was good chilling in the bouncer forever. I think this is just a personality difference. Hopefully, he'll grow to be more independent as he gets older.
Another funny thing we've noticed is that Micah is also not fond of ANY poop in his diaper. Today, Thomas said he was screaming and he didn't want to bottle and didn't want to rock. So Thomas took his diaper off, with what he said was just a "speck" of poop, and then put the same diaper right back on...and he quieted down right away.
In all, today was very busy and I'm very tired - but it was educational and looks like the kids at least are ready for me to go back to work. I however, really am not ready to leave my babies. But it is what it is!
For the record, a full day is from 7:30 to 4:30...
Monday, January 12, 2015
The Disney Princess Battle
One of my parents wrote our Spring play, which is basically two narrators telling the basic plot lines of several different fairy tales (very basically - there is much more depth than that).
She asked what my favorite fairy tale was and I told her (thinking purely Disney) I didn't have one. Which is true, unless of course, you include the Lion King. I've never liked that for the most part, they all involve princesses relying on Prince Charming to save them and generally can't do much for themselves. Cinderella had to have a prince save her from her Step mom instead of just moving out of a bad situation - Aurora AND Snow White had to have a total stranger kiss them, which is actually a bit creepy.
Ariel (my least favorite) disobeyed her dad to be turned into a human so she could be with a guy she'd only seen once and then of course it all worked out - telling little girls everywhere it is okay to disobey your parents because your love at first sight will just run a boat through the evil witch and your daddy will forgive you and turn you back into a human and there will be rainbows and the wedding boat will ride off into the sunset. No consequences.
Tonight, I read a blog titled "A fathers battle with the Disney princess army", and I have to say - I completely related. Last year, for Merrie's birthday she wanted puppy stuff - so we did a puppy themed party. This year, our Disney princess battle started with Sofia the First (who by all accounts is a pretty good kid - much better attitude than her stepsister). NOW we have our own stock of princess dresses that include: Merida, Anna, Elsa and Sofia - and I'm sure it will grow. Merrie also pretends to be other princesses in her normal clothes, but these are her 4 go-tos. With each outfit comes a completely different "Merrie". She takes on the persona, complete with voice change and walking on tip toes, of the princess in which she is portraying. Today, she had her Elsa dress on and told "Anna" to go away before she shut her bedroom door. What made me smile even more was the day she wore all red and pretended to be Mrs. Incredible (who by the way has the best hips of any princess, but still has that darn waist).
There is an amazing amount of perceptiveness in what she comprehends! With this attention to detail, I'm sure will come the time when she herself has comments about why all the princesses have thin waists and huge eyes and I hope sincerely she will grow out of this phase enough to know that Disney's portrayal of what a "beautiful woman" is, is not ideal or even possible.
Someone once told me that Prince Charming could, in a very loose sense, relate to Christ saving us from things we can't get out of ourselves. Maybe, maybe I don't give my 3 year old enough credit, and she might actually think that deeply...but I know that for me, these stories left me waiting for that "Love at First Sight" experience, which I actually dreamed up once and that crush took up much of my middle/high school career.
All this being said, Merrie still loves her G.I. Joes, Transformers and "Turtles" (the originals, brought to us by the Hub), so I know she hasn't been completely brainwashed into princessness. She continually tells me that I am beautiful, so I know her perception of beauty is definitely not based on the appearance of the princesses. For now, like the dad in the blog, I will let her pretend to be someone else because we've all done that and come out at the other end fine - but the minute she starts telling me she wants to look like Belle or Jasmine is the minute we turn NickJr back on instead of Disney!
Read the Blog here:
http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/110515-a-fathers-battle-with-the-disney-princess-army/?utm_source=huffingtonpost.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=pubexchange_facebook
She asked what my favorite fairy tale was and I told her (thinking purely Disney) I didn't have one. Which is true, unless of course, you include the Lion King. I've never liked that for the most part, they all involve princesses relying on Prince Charming to save them and generally can't do much for themselves. Cinderella had to have a prince save her from her Step mom instead of just moving out of a bad situation - Aurora AND Snow White had to have a total stranger kiss them, which is actually a bit creepy.
Ariel (my least favorite) disobeyed her dad to be turned into a human so she could be with a guy she'd only seen once and then of course it all worked out - telling little girls everywhere it is okay to disobey your parents because your love at first sight will just run a boat through the evil witch and your daddy will forgive you and turn you back into a human and there will be rainbows and the wedding boat will ride off into the sunset. No consequences.
Tonight, I read a blog titled "A fathers battle with the Disney princess army", and I have to say - I completely related. Last year, for Merrie's birthday she wanted puppy stuff - so we did a puppy themed party. This year, our Disney princess battle started with Sofia the First (who by all accounts is a pretty good kid - much better attitude than her stepsister). NOW we have our own stock of princess dresses that include: Merida, Anna, Elsa and Sofia - and I'm sure it will grow. Merrie also pretends to be other princesses in her normal clothes, but these are her 4 go-tos. With each outfit comes a completely different "Merrie". She takes on the persona, complete with voice change and walking on tip toes, of the princess in which she is portraying. Today, she had her Elsa dress on and told "Anna" to go away before she shut her bedroom door. What made me smile even more was the day she wore all red and pretended to be Mrs. Incredible (who by the way has the best hips of any princess, but still has that darn waist).
There is an amazing amount of perceptiveness in what she comprehends! With this attention to detail, I'm sure will come the time when she herself has comments about why all the princesses have thin waists and huge eyes and I hope sincerely she will grow out of this phase enough to know that Disney's portrayal of what a "beautiful woman" is, is not ideal or even possible.
Someone once told me that Prince Charming could, in a very loose sense, relate to Christ saving us from things we can't get out of ourselves. Maybe, maybe I don't give my 3 year old enough credit, and she might actually think that deeply...but I know that for me, these stories left me waiting for that "Love at First Sight" experience, which I actually dreamed up once and that crush took up much of my middle/high school career.
All this being said, Merrie still loves her G.I. Joes, Transformers and "Turtles" (the originals, brought to us by the Hub), so I know she hasn't been completely brainwashed into princessness. She continually tells me that I am beautiful, so I know her perception of beauty is definitely not based on the appearance of the princesses. For now, like the dad in the blog, I will let her pretend to be someone else because we've all done that and come out at the other end fine - but the minute she starts telling me she wants to look like Belle or Jasmine is the minute we turn NickJr back on instead of Disney!
Read the Blog here:
http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/110515-a-fathers-battle-with-the-disney-princess-army/?utm_source=huffingtonpost.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=pubexchange_facebook
Friday, January 9, 2015
I JUST had a baby!
I don't know how many different personality tests I've taken over the years, hundreds probably, but they all say pretty much the same thing...I am a people pleaser - I do everything possible to make those around me happy, often at my own expensive (I have a hard time saying "no"). I also don't take failure well and hate receiving gifts/compliments in front of a lot of people.
One of the side effects to this particular personality trait (along with not being able to say no) is that I have a hard time relaxing, especially when I have extended time off of work. So, over the last 6 weeks, I've found myself working more often than I probably should be. Whether it's lesson planning or filling out forms for something needed at school - teachers do most of their work away from school. I haven't been sleeping enough, I've been stressing about making sure I get things done and see people and get Christmas/birthday presents/cards sent out and disappointing people because I'm not able to go to something because all I want to do is sleep and making sure everyone in my little family is happy too. I've also been worrying about my supply once I go back to work and whether or not I'll be able to pump at work - which is probably my biggest fear right now.
I read an article today about how I need to sit back and remember that I just went through a pretty traumatic experience and need to give myself time to recover - everything else can wait. So, although I only have a couple days left of my maternity leave, I am going to do just that. Until Wednesday I am not
> Going to stress about making other people happy
> Going to work on ANYTHING work related
> Going to answer ANY emails or texts from work
> Going to stress about what other people think about ANYTHING
> Going to worry about losing my supply or having to struggle to find time to pump
I know I only have a few days left before I go back to work, but maybe they will be more relaxing than the last several weeks have been. I've got to remember to take care of myself too!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ashlee-gadd/you-just-had-a-baby_b_6439326.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000037
One of the side effects to this particular personality trait (along with not being able to say no) is that I have a hard time relaxing, especially when I have extended time off of work. So, over the last 6 weeks, I've found myself working more often than I probably should be. Whether it's lesson planning or filling out forms for something needed at school - teachers do most of their work away from school. I haven't been sleeping enough, I've been stressing about making sure I get things done and see people and get Christmas/birthday presents/cards sent out and disappointing people because I'm not able to go to something because all I want to do is sleep and making sure everyone in my little family is happy too. I've also been worrying about my supply once I go back to work and whether or not I'll be able to pump at work - which is probably my biggest fear right now.
I read an article today about how I need to sit back and remember that I just went through a pretty traumatic experience and need to give myself time to recover - everything else can wait. So, although I only have a couple days left of my maternity leave, I am going to do just that. Until Wednesday I am not
> Going to stress about making other people happy
> Going to work on ANYTHING work related
> Going to answer ANY emails or texts from work
> Going to stress about what other people think about ANYTHING
> Going to worry about losing my supply or having to struggle to find time to pump
I know I only have a few days left before I go back to work, but maybe they will be more relaxing than the last several weeks have been. I've got to remember to take care of myself too!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ashlee-gadd/you-just-had-a-baby_b_6439326.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000037
Saturday, January 3, 2015
You can find an article to justify anything!
So here's what caught my attention today. I noticed a post about an article against spanking, then after reading the article, one of the articles that popped up was pro-spanking. Both from relatively credible sources (Fox and CNN). Here's my take: Regardless of your position on a certain debate, you can always find research to support your opinion. You could probably also find a Bible verse to support your opinion.
Because I can't keep my opinions to myself, here's mine on spanking. I grew up in a "spanking" house. If we misbehaved bad enough, we were spanked. Once we were about 8-9 the choice for grounding came into play until we were about 10-11 and then we were grounded instead of spanked. Personally, I always chose to be spanked, because the punishment was over quickly. My parents never hit us incredibly hard and I was never bruised or scared in anyway during a spanking.
There are 7 kids in my family, we all have different temperaments and personalities. We're all intelligent, two of my sisters and I have master's degrees. We all did well musically and took many higher level classes. NONE of us have been incarcerated (as far as I know). I really don't feel like we're scarred in anyway because of the way in which my parents disciplined us. Whenever we were punished, we always knew our parents loved us and we also knew we had done whatever punishment fit the crime. If in the event we were punished unfairly, it was met with an apology. Parents are humans too. I might be off and maybe this is not the perception of my siblings, but I think I'm pretty close.
Now, I am also part of a family recovering from very real physical abuse and know in detail the effects that abuse had on at least one person. Here are some differences:
*In this particular family, all children are incredibly intelligent and there is no evidence that this intelligence decreased as a direct result of said abuse AND the use of that intelligence did not differ in either family.
**I also don't want to blame many of these things solely on the actions of parents, this person, as an adult made these choices of his own freewill...but I do believe his past helped kindle these decisions.
Whatever your opinion - there is a true difference between lovingly disciplining your child so they don't become spoiled, entitled adults and abusing your child to the point of real physical and mental harm. Make sure, however you discipline your child, you do it in a way that shows them you love and respect them.
Pro-Spanking:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/2010/01/04/study-spanked-children-may-grow-up-to-be-happier-more-successful/
Anti-Spanking:
http://www.cnn.com/2014/07/23/health/effects-spanking-brain/index.html
Because I can't keep my opinions to myself, here's mine on spanking. I grew up in a "spanking" house. If we misbehaved bad enough, we were spanked. Once we were about 8-9 the choice for grounding came into play until we were about 10-11 and then we were grounded instead of spanked. Personally, I always chose to be spanked, because the punishment was over quickly. My parents never hit us incredibly hard and I was never bruised or scared in anyway during a spanking.
There are 7 kids in my family, we all have different temperaments and personalities. We're all intelligent, two of my sisters and I have master's degrees. We all did well musically and took many higher level classes. NONE of us have been incarcerated (as far as I know). I really don't feel like we're scarred in anyway because of the way in which my parents disciplined us. Whenever we were punished, we always knew our parents loved us and we also knew we had done whatever punishment fit the crime. If in the event we were punished unfairly, it was met with an apology. Parents are humans too. I might be off and maybe this is not the perception of my siblings, but I think I'm pretty close.
Now, I am also part of a family recovering from very real physical abuse and know in detail the effects that abuse had on at least one person. Here are some differences:
- children who feared their parents and up until recently had very real hatred for them
- children who were punished when teachers found actual physical markings of abuse
- parents who never apologized for their actions when wrong (until recently)
- children punished for the actions of others
- children who have criminal histories
- extensive substance abuse
- struggle to stay in stable-healthy relationships
*In this particular family, all children are incredibly intelligent and there is no evidence that this intelligence decreased as a direct result of said abuse AND the use of that intelligence did not differ in either family.
**I also don't want to blame many of these things solely on the actions of parents, this person, as an adult made these choices of his own freewill...but I do believe his past helped kindle these decisions.
Whatever your opinion - there is a true difference between lovingly disciplining your child so they don't become spoiled, entitled adults and abusing your child to the point of real physical and mental harm. Make sure, however you discipline your child, you do it in a way that shows them you love and respect them.
Pro-Spanking:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/2010/01/04/study-spanked-children-may-grow-up-to-be-happier-more-successful/
Anti-Spanking:
http://www.cnn.com/2014/07/23/health/effects-spanking-brain/index.html
Thursday, January 1, 2015
Welcome 2015!!
When we went for Micah's 1 week checkup, the Doctor told me I should write a book about my experiences and opinions on raising kids because I was so sure of what we were doing. I'm not sure how accurate he was, but I am tired of creating heated debates on Facebook. I've also come to realize that many things I want to write on Facebook, most people don't want to see - especially those without kids...so the goal is to write more updates here than via my Facebook wall. That way - if you don't want to hear about it, you don't have to and if you do, than you can. I'm skeptical about doing any new year's resolutions, because they haven't been very successful for me the past couple years. In HS however, I was able to keep them really well - not sure where the disconnect is. Anyway, I'll update on things like our family weight loss journey and baby growth and school/work stuff. Probably will talk more about stuff that creates tension on Facebook...that way I don't provoke a huge debate.
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